World of Darkness
by jnicweb
Summary: "I like to think that I have become the kind of man my people will be proud to call their king, but really, their words don't matter to me. Yours do. I try to be the man you want me to be. The kind of man you are proud of."


**This is a new Merlin fanfiction. It's dialogue only, and shows the brotherly bond between Arthur and Merlin. No slash as usual.**

"_Mer_lin. What is the point of having a manservant if he can't even dress me properly? And where were you earlier today?"

"Sorry, _sire_, you must have mistaken me for someone who cares about your status as a royal. And I wasn't anywhere earlier today."

"You should know that that is no way to talk to your future king. I deserve some respect. You were too somewhere this morning. You weren't with me, and that means you were somewhere else, which is not allowed. So where were you?"

"May I remind you that in order to get respect, you have to give some? Since you insist on treating me like dirt, I will treat you like dirt as well. When you decide that I am worth your princely time, I will consider you worth mine. And where I was has no importance to this conversation right now, so I suggest you drop it. Sire."

"Since I am prince, I don't have to do anything to be respected. You should know better by now Merlin. And you can't continue pretending like you are anything like my equal, because I am socially higher than you will ever be. But, your whereabouts are my concern, because I am your master and you must serve me, and if you're not serving me, then I must wonder where you are instead."

"When you act like that, I wonder why I still hang around you. Sometimes you act like I mean something to you, like you value my friendship, but then you go and say something like that, and I can't help but think of all the reasons you have given me to leave your side and go somewhere where I will be appreciated for who I am. And that's why I won't tell you where I was this morning. Because you don't deserve to know. I would tell a _friend, _but since you have made it abundantly clear that I am not your friend, I won't tell you."

"Well, when you pretend like you know anything about being royalty, and the responsibilities that come with it, you infuriate me, because you have no idea how it would look to people if I was seen having friends among my servants. It's not allowed Merlin. Royalty and servants do not make friends among each other. We are as different as night and day, and nothing I do can ever change that. No matter how much I want to. And it's okay if you don't want to tell me where you were this morning. I was only being curious because that's what Gwen told me to do if I wanted to get to know you better."

"You don't have to bend to other people's wills Arthur. You are your own person. If you want friends in low places, do it. Other people might look down upon you for being friendly with the people who serve you, but you will have the advantage. Because your people love you, but they don't know you. If you were seen with servants, listening to their advice, you could make Camelot a better place to live for the middle and lower class. They would understand that King Arthur has their best interests at heart, and that you know what it's like to live like that. And you don't have to sneak around behind my back to get to know me better."

"You don't understand Merlin. It is seen as a weakness to be friends with peasants. Because I should only talk to my equals, not people I am above. It would look weak to show I see my people as individuals, and less as the "people" they should be. And I still want to know where you were this morning."

"Screw other people. Do what you want Arthur. Don't let other people tell you what to do. That's a bigger weakness than caring about the people you need to protect. Other people should not have that kind of power over you. So do what you feel is right. Don't listen to them, because you're going to have to live with yourself if you follow what they say instead of what your heart tells you to do. So, do you want to be my friend or not? Because if you don't think it's kingly, tell me know so I don't waste my time trying to convince you of something you believe is 'wrong.'"

"I don't know what I want though. I want to be a normal person, with normal friends who tease me like you do, but I don't know if my father will approve. And before you tell me to ignore him and his disapproval, my father is not someone you disobey and live to tell the tale. But I do want to be your friend, if you promise you will tell me where you were this morning."

"See Arthur, you do know what you want. You want to be my friend, make the effort. You want to be seen as a king who listens to his subjects, do it. Go get whatever it is you want. I understand what it's like to have a strict father. Actually, I don't, but I can imagine it's kind of like having a strict mother. But you don't have to follow his every word. He doesn't control you, and you need to prove to your people and to yourself that you will be a strong kind who will follow his instincts and protect them. And if you promise to lose the arrogant, pratty prince attitude, I will tell you where I went this morning."

"You make it seem so easy Merlin. But it's not. I'm terrified of what my father will say. I just don't want to be a disappointment to him. Everything I do is to make him proud, and I'm not sure how he will take this. I just don't want to be the son he is ashamed of. And, as you have told me many times before, I will probably never lose my arrogant personality."

"The thing is Arthur, if your father knows you to be a man who follows his heart, and protects Camelot with all his strength and soul, he will be proud of you. He will be proud of the man you have become, one who knows what he wants, and goes after it. He will understand that you are strong enough, and brave enough to do whatever you set your mind to. And if he isn't, then that's his loss, because you are going to be a great king no matter what he says to you. And I want to be your friend too."

"Sometimes I wonder what you have done with my clumsy, idiotic manservant who has two left feet and doesn't know the difference between a machete and a mace. You come out with something like that, that sounds vaguely like encouragement, and I don't know who you are any more."

"You wouldn't know who I really am, because you never bothered to pay attention before."

"I do too pay attention! I just don't understand what I see sometimes."

"If you paid attention to half the things that come out of my mouth, you would realize that I am not the stupid boy you believe me to be. You just keep that image of me in your mind because it's easier to talk to someone who is below you in rank, than someone who is your equal. You think if you say something wrong, or mean to me, you can just blame it on the fact that I am your servant, and you can say whatever you want to me. But if I was your equal, you have to be extra careful of what you say to me, for fear that it will come back to haunt you. So instead of learning to know me, the real me, you have built up this image of me being incompetent and lazy, because you don't really know how to talk to someone like a friend. But I think practice would help."

"Did-did you just _analyze _me based on how I treat you?! Like you're some kind of-of _shrink _and I'm your _patient? _I can't believe you think you have that kind of permission to tell me things about myself that are ridiculous and obviously not true. What the hell Merlin?"

"I was just trying to help-"

"No, you can stop helping. I don't need your help. I don't need you to tell me that I don't know how to treat people, or that I'm too harsh to even have friends. I have my father for that."

"Arthur, I'm sorry, I just thought you wanted-"

"You see, that's your problem. You think you know these things, but you don't. You try to shove your friendship on people who _don't want it. _You're too friendly, and don't know when to stop. Because some people, believe it or not, don't actually want to be your friend. I know it comes as a shock, but you're actually really annoying, and you don't know how to just _shut up _for once in a while. So leave. You're not wanted here._" _

"I was just trying to be helpful, suggesting that maybe you need practice having a friend, and I would be willing to try being your friend, but when you explode at me over something so petty, I know why you have never had a friend. You're too full of yourself, and you don't care about other's feelings. You were just going on about how you wanted to be my friend, and now you're yelling at me, telling me to get out of your sight. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being treated like I'm nothing to you, like I don't matter. You have told me time and time again how worthless, and useless, and dumb I am, but you never thought anything about it. Well, you convinced me. I _am_ worthless and useless and dumb and lazy and I can't do anything right, I'm never on time for anything, I am too friendly, I don't know how to shut up, people don't like being around me, I am annoying. I just want to be liked and I don't know how to do it so I just talk. I am probably the worst manservant ever and I don't know why you put up with me and my mindless chatter. I can't do anything, I can't protect you like I should, and it seems like I don't try, but you don't understand, I put everything I have into making sure you're safe but I can't even do that right. I can't save everyone and it kills me that it's my fault so many people are dead because I just _wasn't good enough._ I just don't fit in anywhere and I had hoped that Camelot would be that place, but I know I will never be accepted anywhere because I'm too different. So thanks for making me realize that. I am forever indebted to you."

"Wait Merlin, stop, I wasn't thinking-"

"And that's _your _problem. You speak before you think about the repercussions. You blurt out whatever you think, and don't give a damn about what people think about it. That's not the way to make friends. But then again, you never really cared about things like that did you?"

"Merlin, wait. I don't actually think those things about you. Any of them. I thought you knew that."

"Well, when you hear those things all the time, even when you're putting everything you have into making sure it's perfect, but it's never good enough, it kind of gets to you. You start believing all those things that were said in jest, because you can't help but think that maybe they're right and you'll never be good enough for anything."

"I didn't know. And you are good enough. For me that is."

"I don't know Arthur. Sometimes I think the world would be a much better place if I didn't exist."

"Merlin! Don't think like that!"

"Why? You've said so before yourself. I thought you wanted me to be more agreeable and servant-like."

"Don't you get cheeky with me young man. And I don't think the world would be a better place without you."

"Why?"

"Because you are part of what makes it worth living in. You are a bright spot in a world of darkness, and I think the world would suck if you weren't in it."

"…really?"

"Yes really."

"I don't really believe you."

"I don't really blame you. I have treated you terribly throughout all your years of working for me, and I don't blame you for not believing me when I say that I like having you around, and I enjoy our banter and I take your advice into consideration and I wish we could be friends and I want us to be closer and I want to know everything about you."

"Why now?"

"Because I have realized how much you mean to me Merlin. When you said the world would be a better place if you didn't exist, I realized how dismal and empty it would be. There wouldn't be obscenely early mornings with you screeching in my ear about god knows what, bustling around, making noises and generally being yourself. There wouldn't be any warm baths that are placed conveniently close to the fire, or hot food, or wise advice, or insane escape plans that actually work, or any gossip that is kind of like soothing background noise, or anything that is special about you Merlin."

"Those things aren't special Arthur. Every servant does that. So you're saying that I'm just a servant to you."

"No! That's not what I meant at all! Ugh. I'm not good with words, you know that. But I do want you to realize how important you are to me. Before you came to Camelot, I was an arrogant prince who didn't care about his people or anything he said and I had 'friends' but they didn't mean anything to me and they didn't stick around because they liked me, they stuck around because I was the prince. Everyone I had ever known had looked at me with something akin to fear and respect, but never friendliness. I didn't even know that that wasn't how you were supposed to look at people. But when you protected that serving boy, risking your own life for something you thought was wrong, it shocked me. A lot. And when you saved my life, even after I had been rude and mean to you, I thought that maybe, this is what having a friend is like. And you treated me like a person, and not a prince. You didn't care that I could put you in the stocks, or have you banished for how you treated me, because you felt that I needed to give respect to get respect. And that is actually the quote I base my life on. I like to think that I have become the kind of man my people will be proud to call their king, but really, their words don't matter to me. Yours do. I try to be the man _you _want me to be. The kind of man _you _are proud of. You have changed me from a careless prince to a caring king. You have touched every part of my life, and I couldn't imagine life without you by my side."

**Yay! Let me know what you think!**


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